Day 19,579

“A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.” – Shakespeare

My insult game is a work in progress. I’m trying to up my game.

I spend some time on social media, and you see certain conversations that break down into some pretty cliche insults.

Not a lot of creativity there.

But William Shakespeare. That guy knew how to insult people. “May

I read a quote from a pop-culture figure and my response was that he had all of the intellectual prowess of a lobotomized kumquat.

I like kumquats.

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I was always a fan of the more creative jibes, though. “May the Bird of Paradise fly up your nose!”

“May the Bird of Paradise fly up your nose!”

“May your left armpit become infested with the fleas of a thousand camels”

I’m rounding out one involving infected ingrown hairs, unreachable places, and inappropriate locales. It’s not quite ready for it’s debut quite yet. Might never be… it’s gotta have that rhythm to it, that roll right off the tongue quality.

If you’re in an insult slump, you could start here.  It’s a random generator that pulls up Shakespearean insults.
There’s also a more generic random generator that you could use as a foundation for better insults. And smile when you say that.

Peace, y’all.